i'm so confused

global warming

Bless me, Al Gore, for I have sinned.

It's 80 degrees in Chicago, and I love it.

On days like this, I wonder if we really need Florida, anyway. If we can't or don't stop global warming, Chicago might just be the best place in the US to live.

But I just can't completely enjoy the lovely weather without wondering about the global price we are paying for it.


Platonic same sex relationships are simple - they exist as emotional support and to boost our ability to function in society - therefore aiding in our quest to propagate.

Relationships with people of the opposite sex, however, are not so. I'm talking about so-called platonic friendships between members of the opposite sex (or for homosexuals, I suppose the same sex). I believe that in every friendship, it exists for one reason, and one reason alone. sex. At least one party wants to fuck the other. If both parties feel the same way, the friendship is generally a lot stronger/closer. But it rarely develops because habit and custom have made the parties used to the status quo by the time they realise the truth. However, more often than not, it is unrequited. Now, the parties may not even realise this consciously (or more likely do not want to admit) , but I have found it to be an infallible rule. I know it is true for myself, and for my friends whom I have told of my theory.
  • Current Mood
    cynical cynical


Something which I thought the other day: are different people driven by different moods? that is to say, do different people gain motivation from different states of mind? I have discovered that I seem to thrive on rage. The angrier I am, the more productive I am and the better work ethic I have. Whereas some people need to be happy to achieve the same result, and some others need to be unhappy to gain the motivation to do something about it...
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    contemplative contemplative

what I wanted to write for my sex class

I am not a cultural relativist. I don't care if something is your culture, your religion or your tradition. If it hurts someone, coerces someone, or oppresses someone, it is wrong and you ought to stop. Slavery was a tradition in Africa, and in the Americas, with deep cultural roots and religious rationalizations; it was still wrong. This same principle applies to the sexual segregation of women, female infibrulation, dowry murders, foot binding, gay bashing, child sexual abuse, and human trafficking.

I believe all people should be free from coercion and oppression, free to make their own decisions regarding their sexual expression. We are all entitled to sexual pleasure and respect. No one should be used as a sexual object or hurt in a sexual way without their explicit consent. Consent should be the standard by which we all run our sex lives. And children under 15 cannot give consent. We should always be asking, Am I comfortable with this? Is this ok with me? Did my partner consent to this? Are they ok with this? If the answer is maybe, let alone no, play should stop until everyone is comfortable. This isn't hard. But it challenges a lot of our taboos about sex, and a lot of our assumptions about male-female relationships. But it is the ideal we should all be shooting for.
girl interrupted

fetal alcohol syndrome

Alright, this community has sort of died so I'm going to post in it.

This past month, I've had a new job working with three mentally disabled people:
  • Lonnie, a 56 year old man
  • Cissy, a 40 year old woman
  • Jonas, a 24 year old man
Each of these people have opened my eyes.
Lonnie has had a good life; but it's sad how few resources were out there when he was younger for people like him. I can't remember what form of mental retardation he has; but I'm thinking it's moderate/severe. Which isn't bad at all. Most people now with this form of mental retardation since birth can learn to learn basic tasks and can partially live on their own. But that's because of schools, and back when Lonnie was young he didn't have this as an option; when you had a kid with mental retardation you kept them home and they learned basic household chores, which he does know. He can do most everything on his own, he just needs someone around to cook and stuff.
Now on to Cissy. She's been blind since birth, has profound mental retardation, and walks with a limp. Her family gave her up to an institution when she was only 18 months old. How could someone do this to their child?! It's outrageous. Maybe this was standard and expected in their time, but with a family to love her she could have thrived. Not that she isn't doing fine and all, but it's just sad thinking of the people her parents must have been to do this to her.
Jonas' case is the one that saddens me the most....he has fetal alcohol syndrome. We've all heard the term, but until you've seen it, live, up close and in person, you have no idea. It's terrible. I never want to drink again, even when I'm not pregnant. He's got a plethora of deficits. Such as deafness, poor eyesight, one of his legs is about 1/2 a foot shorter than the other, and he has profound mental retardation. The worst part, I think, is that he has a brother just like him. How could you do this to your children? I'm thinking his mom might have done harder drugs too, but no one knows. No one really knows anything of the parents. It just angers me that people can be so goddamn self centered and not only ruin their lives but their children's too. Jonas is happy, but just think of what he could have been had his mother not have made these choices: a doctor, a lawyer, a basketball player, anything. It's absolutely horrible what people can do to themselves and their children.
Working with these three has also opened my eyes about mentally disabled people in general. I was always sort-of on the eugenics side of things; because I thought that these people were suffering. Now I know that eugenics is a bad thing, and these people don't suffer unless we let them suffer by not caring for them. Jonas, Cissy, and Lonnie are very happy people. I wish 'normal' people could be as happy as these three. They're just so content, so....comfortable. It's sweet.
Anyway....that's enough from me. Let's get some more rants going on in here, I know you guys have something to say....

  • Current Music
    Fantasia; the disney movie, not that damn singer from tv.


This isn't technically a rant but I thought I should write something so I shall comment on something I was thinking about today.

I went over to Newcaslte today for a job interview. On the way back to catch my train to Workington I saw a group of men trainspotting. They are ALWAYS there so that was no real suprise to me but it sort of did at the same time. I am not being funny and I know to a lot of people may think that my hobbies of shooting people in games, canoeing and occasionally wrestling may seem odd but I do not get trainspotting at all. It's like, you look at a train, take a number, write it down and then wait for the next train. I really don't get it. I am thinking of going back and convincing these people I want to become a trainspotter just to see what happens when they have loads of numbers, I just have images of them sitting around rather like this:

Man 1: I saw train ne1879x today!
Man 2: please, I've seen ne1879x like 5 times this month!
Women 1: you wanna see a train? you should see qp5964! 
Women 2: you saw qp5964?! I have been lookin for that for ages!
Man 3: You haven't seen qp5964?! I thought everyone had seen that!

And so it continues, I don't wish to get down on anyone who does, one hobby is a vaild as the next, I just don't understand it. 
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    confused confused

Let's get this started...

So, today I was caught in an ungodly amount of traffic on the way to school. Someone got hit by a car or something like 2 hours before my commute or something, I don't know.
But in the lane next to mine, there's a red car with an anti-abortion bumper sticker on it.
So I look to the driver, and it's a male!
Alright, one thing guys need to realize is if a chick wants an abortion, she'll get it. You may be able to talk to her about it, but in the end, it is HER decision.
And if you're against abortion, don't have one.
And he also had a G.W.Bush sticker too.
How are you going to say that you are pro-life and be a supporter of a man that kills so many through the war?
Honestly...if you're pro-life, you better be anti-death penalty and and a strict vegan too. Otherwise...you're just a hypocrite.

That is all. I'm going to go find some food.


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